Relationships - Q By DaVinci Blog

How to Choose Your Damas: 8 Steps

manager — Tue, 03 May 2022 08:47:51 +0000

Planning your big day is a special treat but who to choose to stand beside you ? Our guide – How to Choose Your Damas: 8 Steps – can be a big help.

Having your damas beside you to share the excitement and joy of your big day really makes your Quinceanera something special. Choosing who those damas will be, though—that can prove to be tricky.

But selecting the ladies of your court does not need to devolve into a nightmare if you remember to balance your family’s wishes with your own and most importantly of all, keep a check on your emotions.

Here are our best tips for going about the process of choosing the coolest damas without losing your cool!

How to Choose Your Damas: 8 Steps

1. Don’t rush the decision

Tiny Buddha

Choosing damas is a little like choosing bridesmaids: Don’t move too fast!

You can plan all you want in your head, but until you sit down with your folks to find out how they see things—particularly in regard to the budget and who they want you to include—do the smart thing:

Get a little notebook
Start dreaming
Put those dreams on paper

But …

Don’t talk to anybody until you talk to your folks!

2. Choose Family First

Seventeen Magazine

Talk to your parents about any family members or relations they really want you to include.

Many Quinceañeras opt to “keep it in the family” and have no friends at all. Others just select two or three for the court.

The other important thing is to let you parents have the final say on the maximum size of your entourage. If they give you the go-ahead for the full 15, then have fun collecting damas! But if they ask you to limit your court, honor that.

If you honor your parents’ wishes first, it’ll all work out in the end—we promise!

How to Choose Your Damas: 8 Steps

3. Choose how many Damas you want

The size of your court will depend on some of the decisions you and your parents made in that preliminary meeting.

Tradition holds that a Quinceanera court consists of seven damas, seven chambelanes plus one male escort. But your parents may ask you to include only one or two family members.

If you can’t think of five or six more gal pals with whom to share your big day, just opt for a smaller court.

4. Next, choose your friends—on paper

Make a tentative list of who you think you’d like to ask.

You might also find it helpful to list the reasons why you want them in your entourage.

Tip: You might find it useful to “rank” your friends in order of how you want to ask them.

Then as you begin the invitation process, if one of them says no, you can approach the next person on your list while giving yourself time to think of a different friend to invite.

5. Keep an open mind

keepcalmandposters.com

You’ll find out soon enough that balancing different personalities and opinions can be a challenge.

None of your damas will agree on every single minute detail.
You do need to have girls in your court who will generally get along well together.
You will also have to listen to a few gripes now and then.

While you can’t control your family as much, you do have a little more control over your friends so this next suggestion should help you a lot.

How to Choose Your Damas: 8 Steps

6. Who Exactly to Invite? a Q & A Checklist

quickanddirtytips.com

Your damas will need to step up and help you with the planning and preparations.

Don’t don’t stress yourself into being a Quincezilla.

You will have to include whatever family your parents ask you to invite, but before you put a friend on your list, ask yourself these questions:

Is she reliable?
Does she already help you calm down when you’re stressed?
Does she know how to let other people shine without trying to steal the show?
Is she really fun to be around or is she just funny—meaning goofy, silly and making people laugh?
Does she balance having fun with taking responsibility for home and school work and such?

The answers can be a little hard to handle if you’re honest, but this is what making adult decisions is all about: Honesty.

Remember, too, that just because your friend doesn’t make the cut to be a dama, she’s still invited to the party!

7. Be Prepared to hear “No, Thank You”

Zazzle.com

Once you have your list and are ready to start talking to your friends, be prepared.

You might be surprised to hear “No” from someone you thought for sure would say an enthusiastic “Yes!”

There really are a lot of things your friend will have to do if she’s part of your court, and there may be a lot of different reasons why she says no. Maybe it’s money, or the dance rehearsals will be too much, or maybe she’s just shy, but you didn’t realize it before now.

It is OK to ask once—just one time—“Do you mind if I ask why you want to say no?”

No matter what the answer is—even if it’s just a shrug, or “I can’t explain why” or “I just don’t want to”—give her a hug and then let it go.

Honest friends are sometimes few and far between, so be grateful—very grateful—that you have a friend who’s willing to be honest with you up front!

How to Choose Your Damas: 8 Steps

8. Most Important Tip: Keep Your Cool!

The absolute best thing you can do to make dama selection go as smoothly as it possibly can is to keep your cool!

Bite your tongue as much as you need to so that you don’t get defensive with your family or any friends who tell you no. (This is where that little notebook works like a charm.)
Before you say anything to anybody, write it down.
If conversations start to heat up, ask to take a break, then walk away and get to writing.

The reason this matters so much is that the #1 sign that you’re a real Quinceanera—a young woman who’s really ready to take her place in the adult world—is the ability to keep your cool!

To read all about how to go about asking your friend to be in your court, click here for Dama Selection 102: How to Ask

For the very best collection of great ideas for planning your Quinceanera & adapting to circumstances that may have delayed your big day, Click HERE or on the image below for Q by DaVinci blog:

The post How to Choose Your Damas: 8 Steps first appeared on Q By DaVinci Blog.

Boyfriend, Guy Friend or Family: How to Choose your Quinceanera Escort

manager — Tue, 11 May 2021 08:40:07 +0000

When it comes to your Quinceanera, one of the most important is Boyfriend, Guy Friend or Family How to Choose your Quinceanera Escort — it’s not always easy!

Of all the things you need to plan for and decisions you have to make, choosing your escort for your big day can be both fun and challenging.

Your head chambelane is not “just the guy who escorts you down the aisle.” He’ll have a lot of responsibility and will have to shoulder some stress of his own.

There are quite a few options—your brother, your boyfriend, maybe your best male friend from school or church or another group.

Let’s take a look at the pro’s and con’s of each type of escort and see if we can help make your decision a little easier.

How to Choose your Quinceanera Escort

Number One Factor: Trust!

Before you go too far with deciding who you want as your escort, think about who you can trust. Your escort will be in the spotlight with you throughout a very exciting but also very long and very hectic day.

The job of head chambelan demands maturity, and the more mature your choice is, the easier it will be to trust him.

He’s also going to have to be willing to tolerate some of the more spotlight-oriented activities — practicing your dances and posing for photos. A trustworthy, mature escort can actually help you feel more confident. One who’s not as dependable can make your day more stressful.

You’ll be center stage all day and so will he, so who should you choose for your head escort? Hmmm, let’s see…

How to Choose your Quinceanera Escort:

Who do I ask?

Guy Friend:

pinterest.com

A guy who is a really good friend to you can be a great choice. What better way to make sure you have loads of fun no matter how awkward the situation becomes?

He’ll pamper you and put your priorities before everything else because that’s what friends do. Your best guy friend understands you completely and will support you.

Still, consider his love interest (or interests) before you ask him to be your head chambelan. You don’t wnt to cause a rift between couples.

One option: If he has a girlfriend, and she’s OK with him being your head escort, why not ask her to be one of your damas?

Boyfriend:

pinterest.com

If your boyfriend has a responsible side—works hard at school, or maybe holds a part-time job—consider asking him. Especially if he’s respectful to teachers and to your parents, you can trust him with all the responsibilities a head chambelan is supposed to perform.

Also, just imagine you and your boyfriend all dressed up in church! That might make the bond between you even stronger.

Having your boyfriend as your escort can also make your Quinceanera particularly memorable. This is true especially if you two really feel something for each other.

Brother or Cousin:

pinterest.com

If there’s any male you know who truly understands the importance of your Quinceanera, it’ll be a guy in your family.

Opting to have one of your male relatives as head chambelan will also save you from most, if not all, of the unexpected embarrassments. You also won’t have to take any extra efforts in convincing him or spend a little money on his attire.

The only downside is if you don’t get along with any family members in particular. But there’s probably at least one male relative who’ll do just about anything for you simply because “you’re family.”

How to Choose your Quinceanera Escort

Weighing the Options

The biggest factor is that you need a guy who will take your dream as seriously as you do. If he can not—or will not—take the role seriously, you might need to consider asking someone else.

Your choice of escort is one thing you don’t have to compromise on. You deserve to have the very best companion who will make you feel safe and special and maybe even prettier than you already are.

Don’t compromise on your Quinceanera escort! It’s your day, and you deserve an escort who will do things your way—at least just this once.

Do the very best you can with planning, including choosing a good head chambelane. That way you’ll give yourself possibly the best memory of your first 15 years.

Qualities to look for in a Quineanera escort:

He should like dressing up at least a little bit.
He should have an easy smile especially for people and also for the camera.
He should have a reputation for being punctual (this is super-important for dance rehearsals).
He should know how to carry himself in dress clothes and not slouch or insist on an untucked shirt or what have you.
He should have at least a bit of physical strength so he can support you during the dances and help carry you around if that’s part of the choreography.
Bonus if he has excellent table manners, but at least make sure he knows the basics.
He needs to be willing and able to ignore any of his buddies who might try to make fun of him for doing all the little things necessary to help you shine.

How to Choose your Quinceanera Escort

A Few Last Tips

Ask friends and family for advice on who to choose.
Make a list of possible guys, then compare what you know about him to our list above on qualities to look for.
If you’re particularly popular, you may have more than one guy who wants the job. That can make things really interesting, so if you’re in that position, see if you can rank each guy according to how many qualifications he meets.
Even if you choose a relative who you know will understand a Quinceanera without needing a crash course, have a face to face meeting. Let him know your plans for the day and ask for his full cooperation.
Let you first choice say no and if he does, thank him and then move on (this is why you need a list!).
Let him know what you want for attire, so there won’t be any surprises.
Pay attention to how he treats you during the meeting when you invite him to be your escort. If he isn’t respectful, or if he laughs inappropriately, or does anything to make you feel uncomfortable—move on to your next choice.

Last Point:

If you end up having a family member who your parents select for you, don’t automatically think it’ll be boring.

Sometimes parents see qualities in guys that you might miss because let’s face it:

Male family members may make a point to purposely goof off in front of female relatives for the very same reason they goof off with their buddies. It all has to do with “saving face” and looking macho.

Choosing the right escort isn’t necessarily easy, but just like the rest of your Quinceanera planning responsibilities, it can still be fun.

For a guide to the essential duties of your court of honor—which you can show to your head escort prospects to see if they’re cool with the plan—this is a great resource. Click HERE or on the image below to read Corte de Honor: Selecting Your Damas and Chambelanes:

For more Quinceanera traditions, planning, and, of course, beautiful Quinceanera dresses, Click HERE or on the image below for Q by DaVinci’s blog:

The post Boyfriend, Guy Friend or Family: How to Choose your Quinceanera Escort first appeared on Q By DaVinci Blog.