Of all the things you need to plan for and decisions you have to make, choosing your escort for your big day can be both fun and challenging. Your head chambelane is not “just the guy who escorts you down the aisle.” He’ll have a lot of responsibility and will have to shoulder some stress of his own. There are quite a few options—your brother, your boyfriend, maybe your best male friend from school or church or another group. Let’s take a look at the pro’s and con’s of each type of escort and see if we can help make your decision a little easier.
Number One Factor: Trust!
Before you go too far with deciding who you want as your escort, think about who you can trust. Your escort will be in the spotlight with you throughout a very exciting but also very long and very hectic day.
The job of head chambelan demands maturity, and the more mature your choice is, the easier it will be to trust him.
He’s also going to have to be willing to tolerate some of the more spotlight-oriented activities, like practicing your dances and posing for photos. A trustworthy, mature escort can actually help you feel more confident while one who’s not as dependable can make your day more stressful. You’ll be center stage all day and so will he, so who should you choose for your head escort? Hmmm, let’s see…
A guy who is a really good friend to you can be a great choice. What better way to make sure you have loads of fun no matter how awkward the situation becomes? He’ll pamper you and put your priorities before everything else because that’s what friends do. Your best guy friend understands you completely and will support you.
Still, consider his love interest (or interests) before you ask him to be your head chambelan. You don’t wnt to cause a rift between couples.
One option: If he does have a girlfriend, and she’s OK with him being your head escort, why not ask her to be one of your damas?
If your boyfriend has a responsible side—works hard at school, or maybe holds a part-time job—consider asking him. Especially if he’s respectful to teachers and to your parents, you can trust him with all the responsibilities a head chambelan is supposed to perform. Also, just imagine you and your boyfriend all dressed up in church! That might make the bond between you even stronger.
Having your boyfriend as your escort can also make your Quinceanera particularly memorable especially if you two really feel something for each other.
Brother or Cousin:
If there’s any male you know who truly understands the importance of your Quinceanera, it’ll be a guy in your family. Opting to have one of your male relatives as head chambelan will also save you from most, if not all, of the unexpected embarrassments. You also won’t have to take any extra efforts in convincing him or spend a little money on his attire.
The only downside is if you don’t get along with any family members in particular. But there’s probably at least one male relative who’ll do just about anything for you simply because “you’re family.”
Weighing the Options:
The biggest factor is that you need a guy who will take your dream as seriously as you do. If he can not—or will not—take the role seriously, you might need to consider asking someone else.
Your choice of escort is one thing you don’t have to compromise on. You deserve to have the very best companion who will make you feel safe and special and maybe even prettier than you already are. Don’t compromise. It’s your day, and you deserve an escort who will do things your way—at least just this once. Do the very best you can with planning, including choosing a good head chambelane, and you’ll give yourself possibly the best memory of your first 15 years.
Qualities to look for:
- He should like dressing up at least a little bit.
- He should have an easy smile especially for people and also for the camera.
- He should have a reputation for being punctual (this is super-important for dance rehearsals).
- He should know how to carry himself in dress clothes and not slouch or insist on an untucked shirt or what have you.
- He should have at least a bit of physical strength so he can support you during the dances and help carry you around if that’s part of the choreography.
- Bonus if he has excellent table manners, but at least make sure he knows the basics.
- He needs to be willing and able to ignore any of his buddies who might try to make fun of him for doing all the little things necessary to help you shine.
A Few Last Tips:
- Ask friends and family for advice on who to choose.
- Make a list of possible guys, then compare what you know about him to our list above on qualities to look for.
- If you’re particularly popular, you may have more than one guy who wants the job. That can make things really interesting, so if you’re in that position, see if you can rank each guy according to how many qualifications he meets.
- Even if you choose a relative who you know will understand a Quinceanera without needing a crash course, have a face to face meeting. Let him know your plans for the day and ask for his full cooperation.
- Let you first choice say no and if he does, thank him and then move on (this is why you need a list!).
- Let him know what you want for attire, so there won’t be any surprises.
- Pay attention to how he treats you during the meeting when you invite him to be your escort. If he isn’t respectful, or if he laughs inappropriately, or does anything to make you feel uncomfortable—move on to your next choice.
If you end up having a family member who your parents select for you, don’t automatically think it’ll be boring. Sometimes parents see qualities in guys that you might miss because let’s face it: Male family members may make a point to purposely goof off in front of female relatives for the very same reason they goof off with their buddies. It all has to do with “saving face” and looking macho.
Choosing the right escort isn’t necessarily easy, but just like the rest of your Quinceanera planning responsibilities, it can still be fun.
For a guide to the essential duties of your court of honor—which you can show to your head escort prospects to see if they’re cool with the plan—this is a great resource: https://qbydavinci.com/blog/corte-de-honor-selecting-your-damas-and-chambelanes/
For tips on how to choose damas with less drama, check this out: https://qbydavinci.com/blog/how-to-ditch-the-dama-drama-dodge-quincezilla-syndrome/